Sexual performance anxiety – also known as SPA – has become an actual affection lately, diagnosed by doctors worldwide.
From some points of view, sexual performance anxiety is perfectly normal. It is alright to be nervous when it comes to sex, especially if you are new to it.
Based on what you have watched on adult websites, you probably expect to perform like those stars – less likely to happen, though.
Real problems occur when this type of anxiety affects your sexual life and can even prevent you from enjoying healthy sex life.
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What Is Sexual Performance Anxiety?
Sexual performance anxiety can be associated with other affections – such as erectile or sexual dysfunction – or come by itself.
It relates to sexual activity – people with this condition will find themselves unable to perform in bed.
The disorder may also affect women, but it is more common in men. Fail to overcome sexual performance anxiety – be it caused by psychological factors or other causes – and you will end up with other affections too, such as premature ejaculation.
The fear occurs if you have had a few unfortunate incidents in the past – failure to get an erection or perhaps premature ejaculation.
If they keep repeating, you will find yourself anxious about failing to satisfy your sexual partner. With time, sexual anxiety affects sexual desire and sex life altogether.
Sexual performance anxiety may occur before or during sex – it is more problematic when it occurs before sex.
To treat performance anxiety and enjoy a healthy sex life, you must figure out the causes. It hits before sex, making it impossible to enjoy sex.
If it hits during sex, the constant stimulation of the penis may help it. Otherwise, there are many more anxiety reduction techniques to improve the physical response to stimulation, such as improving blood flow or working on it from a psychological point of view.
Is It Normal To Have SPA?
It is perfectly normal to feel anxious about sex. Sexual problems are quite varied and affect men of all ages. Maybe you are new to sex or have not had any in a while, so you are a bit nervous about your performance.
A new partner may also make you feel nervous, not to mention having social anxiety or experiencing sexual problems in the past – such as failure to get an erection every now and then or the impossibility of reaching orgasm.
Lifestyle changes overtime, or medical conditions may also affect your thoughts, not to mention negative sexual experiences. All these things will make you feel nervous, which is normal. However, a fine line exists between being normal and having a disorder.
According to most wellness professionals, sexual stimulation should make you hard, even if you are a bit nervous. It may take a few tries to get an erection, but if the problem persists, chances are you are more than just nervous – you have a disorder, and it needs to be treated.
Causes Of Sexual Performance Anxiety
Failing to perform sexually because you are afraid of failure is a pretty obvious cause of this anxiety disorder.
It could be because of past failure or a poor body image – sometimes, you can handle it yourself. Otherwise, you may need professional medical advice.
Obvious causes include temporary erectile dysfunction – even when stimulated by your sexual partner- and premature ejaculation. But with time, symptoms may expand a little. With time, you will lose interest in sex whatsoever.
Symptoms or physical causes of sexual performance anxiety also include problems with the blood vessels – not enough blood to the penile area. Apart from engaging in sex, you will also struggle with reaching an orgasm. Even if you can focus and overcome the issue, reaching climax may seem hard.
Physical causes of this type of anxiety may vary from one individual to another. Men with this disorder will experience it in different ways. Random cognitive behavioral or sex therapy will not help if you do not identify the causes first.
There is a very fine line between sexual performance anxiety and erectile dysfunction. Your sexual experience may be similar in both cases. Physical problems, stress hormones, relationship issues, or negative thought patterns can affect both.
This is why, while it may seem easy to diagnose, discussing anxiety and erectile dysfunction with a specialist doctor pays off. You may only need to learn how to manage stress, for example. They can check for causes and symptoms and provide a more specific diagnosis.
Plus, many doctors will offer a free online consultation before digging deeper.
Connection Between Sexual Performance Anxiety And Erectile Dysfunction
Sexual performance anxiety can cause erectile dysfunction both directly and indirectly. Being anxious about sex is normal, but failing to do it could be a problem. Quite a few studies are showing the link between these two issues.
Most specialists agree that the link is indirect. Basically, you are worried when it comes to sex. What if you cannot make your partner come? What if you fail to maintain an erection? What if you are not like the porn stars you watch online?
All these negative thoughts will make you nervous, and anxiety is one of the psychological causes of erectile dysfunction.
Medically reviewed studies also discuss potential health conditions that can lead to these issues, yet body confidence, low self-esteem, and self-consciousness are the main causes.
Sometimes, your thoughts are also related to your partner. If you date someone who seems to be out of your league, you definitely want to rock her world.
You think she has probably had better partners than you, so all this pressure will make you fail in bed. Instead, you need to relax and do your best.
The connection between performance anxiety and erectile issues is obvious. But then, you do not always need an ED treatment to overcome the issue.
Treatment Options For Sexual Performance Anxiety
Medication And Psychotherapy
Since sexual performance anxiety is most commonly associated with erectile dysfunction and premature ejaculation, most doctors recommend medication for erectile issues. Your sexual activity will improve overnight, as well as your sexual experiences.
Every healthcare professional will recommend drugs for ED, such as those based on sildenafil. The blue pill is a pretty good option. Not only will it give you an erection, but it will also keep you hard for longer, so you can avoid premature ejaculation.
There are more similar drugs based on sildenafil, and they have similar effects. It does not mean that you need to become addicted to them or take them all the time. With time, you can reduce the frequency as you gain more self-confidence.
You may also want to rub natural essential oils to your penis to soothe and relax your member. The anxiety will naturally move on, which would then allow you to perform naturally.
Stage fright or any other similar sexual problem can also be handled with psychotherapy. Anxiety levels and stress levels will be reduced if you can control your thoughts. Plus, learn to reduce stress, and your love life will be back on track.
Natural Ways
Apart from medication and psychotherapy, there are things you can do to enhance your sex life.
Masturbate, for example. Spend a bit of time with yourself. Try to become familiar with your body needs and figure out what works for you. In the same way, you can get the best men’s vacuum pump so can train yourself to last longer in bed – there are different techniques in masturbation to help, such as edging.
Second, you need to learn how to eliminate stress and anxiety from your life. Enjoying sex is not about negative thoughts. Stress can be caused by different issues – money, mortgage, work, relationship tensions, and so on. Exercise, sleep, meditation, and communication will help.
Are you in a new relationship? Forget about anxiety and focus on what is going on. When you have sex – even if you are only in the foreplay, learn to focus on the motions. Force yourself to stop thinking about what could go wrong. Slow down, take your time and enjoy the foreplay.
Finally, accept that sex may not always be perfect. Sometimes, you just do not feel up for it. It is not about a sexual problem – maybe you are tired from work, or it is so hot that you simply cannot engage in sexual exercise.
Just wait for the perfect moment, and do not force yourself to do sometimes you are not up for.
Talk Therapy
The above-mentioned ideas work wonders if you combine them altogether. If the natural ways seem to fail, get some ED drugs, and your erections will skyrocket. If you think you could do with psychotherapy, seek help from a professional.
Some things will work wonders when combined – different techniques may imply changing the way you see things or adjusting your lifestyle. Meditation is a good idea, but you can also educate yourself on sex and sexual behaviors.
Feel free to discuss this with your partner too – it may seem a bit difficult, but it is highly recommended. Talk therapy is great against sexual problems. Couples can also go to counseling together to help with such relationship problems.
Intimacy and relationship problems may be just as problematic – sex therapy is the best option then. Focus on a healthy lifestyle too – adopt a healthy diet, exercise some more, and increase your self-esteem and your body confidence.
Keeping everything inside will not always work. At times, it might be a good idea to be open about this anxiety and express your worries to your partner. It will help your partner understand what is going on and become more careful.
Remove stress and, more important, avoid rushing sex. Look at what is going on – what she is doing to you or what you are doing to her. Instead of closing your eyes, look close and think about how lucky you are to be there.
Finally, forget about things you should do. There is no such thing – every person out there takes sex in a completely different way. Forget about what they do in adult videos – real life is different. Focus on what you can do and do it right, rather than focusing on things that you think are right.
Bottom Line
Sexual performance anxiety is a real thing and will cause long-term problems if left untreated. It can be handled naturally, with nothing but a change of attitude and a few lifestyle changes. However, if such things fail to work, you can always rely on the medical industry.
ED medication, for example, can help you recover your confidence by giving you the erections of a lifetime.
