Most people – especially those who have just started their sex life – ask themselves different questions about sex.
Whether they go online or talk to their close friends, one question keeps popping up all the time – how long does sex last?
The short answer is sex can be defined in different ways.
A normal person would include the foreplay when counting sex – all the games before the actual penetration. Sex therapists, however, would only count the sexual intercourse.
Then, different aspects could determine the duration of sex. Some people can sort themselves out within minutes only. For others, reaching orgasm takes longer – it depends on the experience and what they are used to.
Think about the potential issues that may arise, too – the necessity to overcome some sort of sexual dysfunction, not to mention premature ejaculation.
Long sex goes in more directions and can go further than penetration or classic vaginal sex – therapists rarely count oral sex too.
All these things make sex difficult to define. Oral sex can last for ages. Do you count kissing too? How about rubbing? Since these things cannot be defined and can go for as long as you need, most people will count the penetration only.
Forget about American sex therapists’ perceptions – here is what it takes to have a healthy sex life.
Contents
How Long Does Sex Last?
You will find this normal, but whether it comes to sexual stimulation, penetrative sex, vaginal intercourse or other type of sex, the average duration depends on more factors – age, region, cultural habits, and personal preferences.
If you need to know how long sex lasts, there is no such thing as a definitive answer.
Most people agree that sex lasts as long as they like – men are more likely to give this answer. About two out of 10 women agree that they could do with more.
It truly matters to ensure you and your partner are happy with it. If you are happy with three minutes of intense sex, so be it. If your sexual encounters take more than half an hour and you feel fulfilled, fine.
On average, most couples have sex for anywhere between three and five minutes – foreplay and oral sex are not included in such statistics.
If vaginal sex only lasts for a few minutes, it is considered too short. It might be a bit too long if there is more than 10 minutes – and even up to half an hour.
But then again, every couple is different.
Sexual Intercourse Duration For Most People
Now you know why the duration is not important – not for heterosexual women, not for gay men, or whatever category you fall in.
The duration is important for you and your partner only. As long as both parties are done, you have done a good job.
There is a common misconception about men – long sex should last for hours. Bad idea. The penile vaginal intercourse implies rubbing for hours then, which becomes painful. The vagina cannot lubricate itself for that long, and even if you use lube, it is extremely tiring.
Such things are not included in sex education in schools, so you need to figure out what works for yourself – the intravaginal ejaculation latency time should be enough to ensure both partners are done, and the sexual tension is relieved.
Again, it depends on how you define sex. If scientists only focus on the penetrative vaginal sex, you need to count everything. On average, you will spend about half an hour having sex, and that includes everything.
The foreplay should normally last between five and ten minutes – kissing, rubbing, you name it. Oral sex is considered foreplay by most people. Unless there is no erectile dysfunction involved, the actual penetration will normally last up to 10 minutes.
Overall, you will normally go up for around half an hour for the whole menu – with three to seven minutes or slightly more for the actual penetration.
There is nothing to be concerned about if you choose to go the distance, or you can sort everything out in less than 10 minutes.
If you and your partner are done, so be it. How long should intercourse last? Short or long sex should last as long as you two need to be happy.
Unlike many expectations, sexual orientation or race will not make a difference. Mixed-sex relationships could lead to better or worse sex. Heterosexual couples will be the same as gay couples – no difference at all.
There are the same sexual disorders – if any – and the same sexual pleasure can be achieved with the same sex toys. What truly matters is looking after your sexual health, whether with a vaginal orgasm, masturbation, or anything else.
If Long Sex Becomes Uncomfortable…
Sex acts could be therapy. It will boost the production of various hormones, but it will also relieve tension.
However, there are times when sex lasts a bit too much – a man can normally tell, especially if the vagina gets naturally dry. At that point, it becomes a bit painful.
If sex lasts too long, here are a few things to keep in mind.
Communicate With Your Partner
Faster orgasms can be achieved with communication as well. You need to ask your partner what they want and get there.
On the same note, you should also make your wishes pretty clear if you want to be done just as quickly.
Both of you need to understand what each other needs to reach an orgasm faster. Communication is even more important when it comes to quickies. You do not have all the time in the world, so you must sort yourselves out quickly.
Try Specific Positions
Specific positions work better than others, as they can take you there much faster. Each partner will have different ideas.
Some women prefer deeper penetration. Some men like to do it quicker – it works for women too.
Tell your partner, adjust yourself and sort it out. Perhaps you want to also pleasure yourself during sex, or maybe you want to pleasure your partner simultaneously. What works for some people will not work for everyone else.
Masturbation is quick and simple
Whether you are short on time or you are alone, masturbation will give you orgasm faster than anything else. You know your body better than anyone else. However, you can also achieve a quick orgasm if you have a partner.
If your partner is already rubbing you, there are other things you can do to rush to the orgasm – touch different parts of your body, pinch or pull yourself, gyrate your hips, and so on.
You can also try out mutual masturbation. You can start applying natural oil to the penis and this can add pleasure and sensation. You can still reach an orgasm fairly fast, still be intimate, but without the hassle.
What Sex Therapists Recommend For Long Sex…
Whether your partner needs more sex or you feel like you can extend the pleasure some more, there are a few techniques that can help in bed.
Most of them target men – after all, natural lubrication or lube can help women stay wet.
The Stop-Start Technique
Sex acts can last longer with Semans’ technique. You can prolong sex with edging – a more common name for this technique.
It implies stopping sexual stimulation when you feel like you are close to finishing. Most sex therapy experts will recommend it.
This technique works in both heterosexual relationships and gay relationships. Whatever constitutes sex can work longer with this technique. Obviously, once the feeling is over, you and your partner can return to action.
The technique is mostly used for those with premature ejaculation or other abnormal ejaculatory latencies, but anyone who wants to prolong sex can benefit from it. It might be difficult to achieve at first, but men can also train for it while masturbating. In the long term, it will lead to longer sex.
The Squeeze Technique
This is another common technique to enhance the duration of sex. The sexual function can be halted if you gently squeeze the end of your penis for a few seconds. You only need to do it when you feel like you are close to ejaculating.
Wait for a few seconds, and the urge will go. At that point, you can resume sexual stimulation again – the intercourse duration will be enhanced. You can use this practice to train for ejaculatory control as well – again, you can train while masturbating.
The Actual Foreplay
Gay men, heterosexual men, and even heterosexual women found that sexual needs go further than penetration.
Your female partner will appreciate the foreplay, as it caters to her sexual needs. Most women need some sort of foreplay anyway, as they cannot get lubricated straight away.
Besides, foreplay will make vaginal sensations much more intense. Foreplay will also help you delay orgasm and increase the average length of your sessions. Apart from adding to the time, foreplay will also add to the sensations and intensity when you reach orgasm.
The Mental Distraction
This is also quite common, whether in a straight or same-sex relationship. It is a classic move. Feeling like you are too close to ejaculation? You can make sex last longer by thinking of something different – something that is nonsexual.
Think about timetables, what you need to do at work the next day or even your grandmother if it helps. It does not affect reproductive health, but it may reduce the enjoyment a little. However, it adds to the average duration of sex.
Focusing mental attention towards something else will then add to the sexual activity.
The Slow Method
Several multinational population survey tests and self-reported data show that the faster you ride her, the quicker you will ejaculate. Rapid thrusts will inevitably lead to shorter sex. There is no clinical concern in terms of sexual activities, but the hard riding will make you reach the orgasm faster.
How about slowing down then? You can increase the intravaginal ejaculatory latency time based on personal preference. Measure your riding. Avoid stimulating the tip of the penis so often. More control means longer sex.
Other considerations include:
- Masturbating a few hours before sex to last longer
- Using condoms because they decrease sensitivity during sexual activities
- Pelvic floor exercises for more control, as well as more intense orgasms
- Using vacuum constriction device to train the ejaculation of your penis
A Few Words About Premature Ejaculation
Those who can control when they ejaculate possess skills acquired overtime.
Premature ejaculation is the most common issue regarding the duration of sex and tends to affect most men at some point or another.
Normally, premature ejaculation is diagnosed when you come within a minute.
If both you and your partner are happy, there is not much to worry about. If you stimulate her accordingly with oral sex and she only needs a minute of actual penetration, there is no problem at all. Women are more likely to experience a premature orgasm than men.
People define premature in different ways. Some people will last a minute, while others will do it for three minutes. Doctors define it as ejaculation within a minute, difficulties in controlling it, and a stressful association with sexual activities.
You can find a premature ejaculation or ED treatment without too much hassle. There is no need to take some STD laboratory tests for it because causes include prostate problems, stress, relationship issues, anxiety about your sexual performance, or depression.
Closing Thoughts
As a short conclusion, how long does sex last on average? According to most studies and data, penetration lasts up to 10 minutes.
But then, there is also the foreplay, which may last another 10 minutes. Oral sex is also included and can make it even longer.
On average, half an hour is more than enough for most people, yet other people can do with less than that, while others will find joy in delaying the orgasm by taking male stamina pills to take sex to another level. It depends on what you like, as well as your partner’s needs.
